To the bitter end

As much as I wanted to view the final round as an added bonus, the way I'd got there made it difficult to let go. At least I probably wouldn't be the only one feeling nerves, as I found the day before. But the morning start was a nuisance. Of course it happens all the time in the 4NCL, but there you are usually on site and kick off at eleven rather than ten - plus, at this stage you need to sleep! So I wasn't as prepared as I would like, and it wasn't quite clear how I would get home afterwards if I had a long game...

My last opponent was Tom Brown (192/2063), who had worked his way back into contention after a loss in round two - unlike me, he had managed to avoid playing most of the top players. I was even consigned to a double black. In the event I couldn't object to how the opening went, but I was unable to cope with the strain, and buckled even after valiantly fighting back in a hopeless endgame:

I hope it was an insightful endgame, whatever the context. I had to try something, but my king's travels were the decisive factor, ensuring that any effort to simplify into a drawn position would end in failure. I didn't appreciate just how significant this is, leading to the catastrophe of 54... Nd4+?? - one of those moves that will live with me forever. In truth though, the damage had been done much earlier. After my inexplicable draw offer was turned down, my play between moves 20 and 30 was nervy, passive and weak. It's no surprise that a good opening ran away from me in no time at all. The only upshot for me is that at least I did not go quietly into that good night. But in the end I didn't win anything, and I missed the last direct train home. I left at 4pm and finally made it home around midnight after 5 trains and a railway replacement bus, in pouring rain much of the way. I've had happier days, that's for sure.

I have been back at the board since the Major Open, but before getting onto that I want to reflect on the lessons of the tournament as a whole. There is certainly a lot to learn.