When the chips are down

In the last round of the tournament I got paired against Jim Burnett (191/2104), a repeat pairing of one of my best results last season. Up to this point I think it's fair to say that I'd been clearly the second-strongest player in the field, having quite powerfully moved to 3½/5 even after stumbling in the previous round. If I could get a result that accurately reflected my play then I would be happy, but to do that I would have to overcome my appalling score in important final-round games. History only records the final scores, as I know all too well after Llandudno.

This turned out to be another one for the collection. Whilst having hardly a pragmatic bone in my body can be a creative advantage, it isn't very good business practice; I got a very good but very messy position out of the opening and could only watch as, yet again, the chance slipped away...

Missing out on a prize was less frustrating than not getting a score I felt I deserved. Yes, I played some interesting games, had a 195 performance and managed to gain rating points as one of the oldest players in the field. But 5/6 could have easily happened if things had been just a little different!

At least I can say I had a go; move 11 is rather early to put all your chips on the table, but the exchange sacrifice is absolutely justified. I was even quite blasé about sacrificing a piece on top, so it may seem counter-intuitive to point to nerves again. But I was blind to opportunities to improve gradually, for example the ...O-O/...Nc6xd4 plan and 18... Bd5. I was viewing any slight resistance to the attack as instant death, but there was always a way to keep up the pressure if I'd stayed calm and looked for it. I doubt I would have dug up 13... O-O from the Gower game in this state of mind. Just as in the Major Open, it all boils down to an inability to withstand the tension.

A month late, this brings my chess year to an end, barring the obligatory spreadsheet crawl. Today was also my last day working at Chess in Schools, giving me an opportunity to figure out my next move in the real world. With a bit more time available, I hope I will be able to catch up with my first games of 2018 pretty quickly - but first, that spreadsheet!