Dangerous delusions

In round three I was paired against Matthew Wilson (1945), which seems to be a kind of tradition: out of four attempts at the Major Open, I have played him in three of them. In the first two, I got overwhelming positions but he proved very resourceful and I just couldn't put him away, emerging with only half a point to my name. This battle proved to be of a different character, but no less frustrating.

One of my faults throughout the event, but maybe never more than in this game, was the sin of wanting. Though my competitive results are eternally disappointing, I am well aware of what I am capable of on a good day, so I generally expect to be able to win this sort of game. At this point I still harboured hopes of contending for the major places, and besides I was after revenge for the earlier disappointments - in short, I really wanted to win! But that poisoned my objectivity, and wild over-optimism is not a look that suits me:

[Event "Major Open"] [Site "?"] [Date "2022.08.15"] [Round "3.20"] [White "Young, Daniel J"] [Black "Wilson, Matthew R"] [Result "1/2-1/2"] [ECO "A14"] [WhiteElo "2020"] [BlackElo "1945"] [Annotator "Young,Daniel J"] [PlyCount "86"] [EventDate "2022.??.??"] {I've played Wilson twice before in the Major Open and scored 0.5/2 despite winning positions in both games. So this was a pairing I was wary of.} 1. Nf3 { (1:30) With two points: (1) I wanted to avoid a Petrov. (2) Diligent opponents would now need to prepare for both this and 1. e4, which I played in round one. However, Wilson had no games in the database against this, so I could only extrapolate from his preference for the QGD.} Nf6 {(1:30)} 2. c4 e6 3. g3 d5 4. Bg2 Be7 5. O-O O-O 6. b3 {6. d4 to transpose into a Catalan having avoided much of the theoretical overhead is also worth considering, but I like this less direct system (an old Botvinnik favourite and also used by Kasparov in the must-win final game of his 1987 match with Karpov). I have won many games against weaker opposition down the years by maintaining the strategic tension as long as possible.} c5 7. e3 d4 {Almost never played by this move order, though for no clear reason that I can see.} 8. exd4 cxd4 9. Bb2 {Transposing back into a mainline, though White could have tried to economise on this with, say, 9. d3. The bishop is only good here if the pressure on d4 leads anywhere; otherwise the value of the extra tempo over a Modern Benoni will be dissipated. } Nc6 10. Re1 {(1:28)} Qb6 $5 {(1:22) This was new to me. Black wants to put the dark-squared bishop on d6 to enforce the advance of his e-pawn without hanging d4, but it does look clumsy.} 11. d3 Bd6 {White's challenge is to either prevent ...e5, or use his lead in development to create enough activity to offset it. Also, as in the Modern Benoni, he would like to exchange at least one pair of minor pieces to soothe his lack of space.} 12. Ba3 (12. Na3 $142 {was the other main option - I prepared this improvement ahead of round 9. The knight can proceed either to b5 or c2 with pressure against d4, and there is also a sharper possibility of sacrificing a pawn with c4-c5!? (which I tried in vain to make work at the board) in order to reach c4.} e5 $6 {This is the whole point of Black's play, but what makes 12. Na3 appealing in a practical sense is that he is not ready for this natural-looking move.} (12... Re8 $142 13. Nb5 Bc5 {is safer. White can continue to seek simplification with} 14. Ne5 Bd7 15. Nxd7 Nxd7 16. Na3 $14 {followed by Nc2 and the preparation of b3-b4.}) 13. c5 $1 Qxc5 {Taking with the bishop hangs e5, a trade White would be very happy with, yet this creates trouble on the a3-f8 diagonal.} 14. Nc4 Nd5 {Black has to return the pawn to interpose on b4.} (14... Be6 $2 {is too slow:} 15. Nfxe5 Nxe5 16. Ba3 $18 {wins material}) 15. Nfxe5 Bxe5 16. Ba3 Ndb4 17. Bxc6 {The simplest of various good moves; Black is left with a shattered queenside and cannot restore his material advantage in view of} bxc6 $4 18. Rxe5 {when the queen is trapped!}) 12... Nb4 {Making use of his 10th move, at the cost of even more time. I couldn't see how to dislodge the knight by force so after 20 minutes settled for} 13. Bc1 {, fully expecting} Nc6 {when I wanted to argue that the net result of all this, getting in Bb2-c1 for free, had improved my position. And yet once I got here I was still at a loss for how to continue, so...} (13... a5 $5) 14. Ba3 Nb4 15. Qd2 $6 {(44) I had no interest in Black's implicit draw offer, though later I reflected that it would have saved me a lot of trouble! The move played hopes for pressure on b4 but otherwise is not very good for just the reason that I hesitated over it: it gums up the development of my other pieces. If White doesn't want to repeat moves then I could try 15. Bb2 with the intention of 15... Nc6 16. Na3, transposing to the note to move 12.} Re8 {(1:07)} 16. Ne5 Nd7 {Forcing me to play the weakening} 17. f4 {to maintain the blockade of e5.} a5 18. Bb2 f6 19. Nf3 Nc6 $15 {Now Black is all set to carry out his plan. And yet, at the time I didn't realise how prospectless my position is; I just thought that it was an interesting, imbalanced game, and liked that simplification has been avoided. I was more worried by the clock, which I was finding difficult again without the benefit of 20 moves' preparation as in round two.} 20. Qe2 {(19)} e5 {(40)} 21. fxe5 $2 {Counting only on 21... fxe5? "to maintain the pawn centre" and vastly underestimating the tactical weakness of the e-file. As with several other games from this tournament, I feel that I lacked objectivity in this one.} (21. Nh4 $142 Nc5 22. Ba3 g6 $15 {still favours Black since his space advantage is secure and the h4 knight lacks an onward route, so I think it will be tough for White to find counterplay. However, this is certainly an improvement over the game.}) 21... Ndxe5 22. Na3 {Still in dreamland, expecting to play 23. Nb5 and put the d4 pawn under pressure.} Bb4 (22... Bg4 $144 {If this had been played I was intending} 23. Nxe5 { , and there is nothing better, but Black doesn't have to compliantly take my queen.} Nxe5 $1 (23... Bxe2 $2 24. Bd5+ Kh8 25. Nf7+ Kg8 26. Ne5+ $11 {I would have been relieved to escape with this - and to think it was only a few moves ago that I refused a draw right out of the opening!}) 24. Qf1 Bb4 {Black's bishops are ferociously strong, and the white rook on e1 gets mercilessly kicked around. After} 25. Re4 Rad8 26. Nc2 f5 27. Rf4 Bd2 28. Rxd4 Nc6 { White has to surrender his best minor piece to save the rook -} 29. Bxc6 bxc6 $19 {- a transaction which is in no way made up for by the extra pawn.}) 23. Red1 Bg4 24. Qf2 {Now 24. Nxe5 is clearly out because of 24... Nxe5 and my queen is skewered. But, perhaps from time trouble delirium, I still thought that if I can just survive the next few moves...} Bh5 25. Nxe5 {(4) In conjunction with the next move, a desperate attempt to stop ...Ng4(-e3).} Rxe5 {(13)} (25... Bxd1 $143 $4 {would now even lose:} 26. Bd5+ Kh8 27. Nf7+ Kg8 28. Rxd1 $18) 26. Bf3 Rf5 $2 {From my opponent's reaction it was obvious that he had missed my response.} (26... Bxf3 27. Qxf3 Rae8 {prepares a decisive infiltration of the White position, for example} 28. Nb5 Bc3 29. Rab1 (29. Bxc3 $2 dxc3+ 30. d4 c2 $19 {overloads the rook that is needed to defend d4.}) 29... Nb4 30. a3 Nc2 $19 {, followed by 31... Ne1 to begin dismantling the white queenside.}) 27. Bd5+ Rxd5 28. cxd5 Bxd1 $2 (28... Ne5 $142 $1 {was more dangerous - White's light squares are so weak that it's a pity to give away the bishop for a mere rook.} 29. Nc4 Qb5 30. Nxe5 {(30... Nf3+ is too strong a threat)} fxe5 $17 {White has the unpalatable choice between losing the exchange after all, when Black has significantly improved his position over the game by the recapture on e5, or losing the d3 pawn and freeing Black's mighty pawn centre.}) 29. dxc6 $2 {Definitely not a choice I would have made with time to think. I was nervous about the knight coming to e5, but leaving Black's light-squared bishop alive is far worse...} (29. Rxd1 $142 Ne5 $6 { was what worried me, as White can't take on d4 because of ...Qxd4! and ...Nf3+. } (29... Bxa3 {is a better implementation of the idea, albeit} 30. Bxa3 Ne5 31. Qf5 Re8 32. Rc1 g6 $11 {leaves White sufficiently active to hold the balance, according to Stockfish - White's d-pawns are weak, but then so are Black's pawns on d4 and f6.}) 30. Nc4 {I didn't consider this move.} Qa7 31. Kg2 Bc5 32. Qf5 Nf7 $11 {Black has been able to defend his weak d-pawn, but only by retreating his queen offside.}) 29... Bxa3 $2 {A cautious choice, hastening to simplify (by now Black too was in time trouble) - but why not 29... Bh5(g4), preserving his most promising attacker?} 30. cxb7 {(1)} Qxb7 {(5)} 31. Rxd1 { At last, prudence started to reassert itself.} Bxb2 32. Qxb2 Qf3 33. Qc2 Re8 { I was nervous about this position with no time and bad memories from 'dead drawn' QR endings earlier in the season racing through my mind, but the d4 pawn offers White sufficient scope to activate his passive pieces.} 34. Rf1 Qe3+ 35. Kg2 {(0)} h5 {(2)} 36. Qc4+ Kh7 37. Rf4 (37. Rxf6 {would have forced a draw, but it is difficult to settle on such a move just before the time control.} gxf6 38. Qf7+ Kh6 39. Qxf6+ Kh7 40. Qf7+ Kh8 41. Qf6+ Kg8 42. Qg6+ $11) 37... Qe2+ 38. Rf2 Qg4 39. Rf4 Qe2+ 40. Rf2 {(0)} Qe3 {(1) I was mostly just happy to have made it to the time control without any accidents - now I could figure out what was going on. Whilst I very much wanted to believe I could make something of the queenside pawn majority, this seemed too fanciful in view of my open kingside, and therefore opted to allow a repetition.} 41. Rf4 {(White draw offer)} (41. a3 {This is what I would have played in a do-or-die scenario.} Re7 {Just in case Qf7 becomes annoying, even though Black has ...Re5 in response.} 42. b4 h4 {This was the idea that scared me, and not without cause. White should consent to} 43. gxh4 $11 {when I feel Black will always have a perpetual available if he needs one.} (43. b5 $4 h3+ 44. Kg1 Qe1+ 45. Rf1 Qe2 46. Rf2 Qd1+ 47. Rf1 Re1 $19 {leads to mate})) 41... Qd2+ 42. Rf2 Qe3 {Having had his opportunity to examine the position, Black too concluded he could not make progress.} 43. Rf4 Qd2+ {(Black draw offer) A strange game, which I didn't know quite what to make of. I had to catch myself when someone congratulated me on a good escape - I evaluated the positions so badly that I mistook 27. Bd5+ not as a chance of escape but the signal to play for a win, and had the nagging feeling I'd missed chances in the run up to the time control, not to mention earlier. Indeed there were many missed chances, but they were not mine...} 1/2-1/2

Looking back, I find it hard to believe that I truly did not register how bad my position was throughout the game. Even when Black was on the cusp of winning by force around move 25, I thought that it was just a few short-term threats to navigate before I could turn my attention to winning the d-pawn. The point is that I have won many games (particularly those with a long playing session) where the position always threatens to explode into life but nothing actually happens for the first 25 moves, and then it's all decided in the run up to the time control. Strange to say, but I've often found my nerves hold out better. So a position like this, where all the pieces remain on the board, symmetry is broken and there is some tension in the pawn structure, has positive associations for me.

Also, there is the opening to consider. Going into a Benoni structure is Black's most ambitious way to meet the 6. b3 system, but not without risk - as White naturally has an extra tempo, and ...e6-e5 gets played in two moves, I can argue that I am two tempi up on a true Modern Benoni. It's a fallacious argument (Bb2 doesn't help White's cause, and the desired b3-b4 will return one of them) but if you're in an optimistic mood you can convince yourself of this. However, as John Emms put it to me, it's a good Benoni... but it's still a Benoni. I do not enjoy the cramp inherent to this structure, and have known that for a long time - it was largely why I gave up the King's Indian many years ago. White needs to play with great energy not to drift into passivity, and after passing over the 12. Na3 line I got gradually outplayed without doing anything obviously wrong. For the reasons explained above, I was dulled to the risks and failed to do anything about it until it ought to have been too late.

So quite a psychologically insightful game. Some players like to radiate confidence in all positions, and achieve success that way. Personally, like Fischer, I believe in the psychology of good moves, so my play in this game leaves quite a sour taste. I wanted to win, yes, but that desire clouded my objectivity. The fourth game would prove to be more of the same.