Exorcism

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."

Vincent and the Doctor

The time that has elapsed since my last post might have spoiled the question at the end of it. This hasn't solely been for want of motivation - busy season at work and buying a flat have also played their part - but given my undistinguished results in 2025 it's fair to say that the next game has cast a long shadow. Eight months on, and with a return to the Kingston Invitational now on the horizon, it is time to exorcise the ghost.

Having consciously kept under the radar for eight rounds, I now had to emerge from the deep and take on one of the players who had been on the top boards all week, 2114-rated Ethan Sanitt. Though I was Black for this crucial encounter, and the morning start curtailed my preparation, I at least had happy memories of our last game. But my record in critical games is atrocious, and I'd always feared that my nerves would be my worst enemy. Even though my rushed preparation was still enough to land a direct hit, that fear proved well-founded as first the win and then the draw were thrown away in heartbreaking fashion:

[Event "London Chess Classic U-2000"] [Site "?"] [Date "2024.12.07"] [Round "9.2"] [White "Sanitt, Ethan"] [Black "Young, Daniel J"] [Result "1-0"] [ECO "A36"] [WhiteElo "2114"] [BlackElo "2063"] [Annotator "Young,Daniel J"] [PlyCount "93"] [EventDate "2024.??.??"] [SourceVersionDate "2024.12.07"] {So, after a long week of chess it all came down to this: a draw or better would suffice for a place in the prizes. I've mentioned in previous rounds the lessons of the 2017 Major Open, and I wanted to improve on my nervy defeat in the last round at Llandudno. This was a morning round, and combined with storm delays it meant I had to catch a very early train from Oxfordshire; my preparation then was scarcely more than parroting Jones's analysis, which in my mind isn't really preparation at all. A better omen was that I'd beaten Sanitt in our previous two games, even if he was rather weaker then.} 1. c4 {(1:30)} Nf6 {(1:30)} 2. Nc3 g6 3. g3 Bg7 4. Bg2 O-O 5. d3 c5 6. e4 {It helped that Sanitt plays the Botvinnik structure at every opportunity. I wanted to get him away from automatic system moves, so the line that Jones proposes seemed pretty convenient.} Nc6 7. Nge2 d6 8. O-O Rb8 9. h3 Ne8 10. Be3 {(1:31)} Nc7 {(1:33) Feinting the thematic ...Ne6-d4 plan. But isn't White in time to cut across this with} 11. d4 {, one might think? Indeed so, but actually Black is preparing} b5 $5 {as a pawn sacrifice for queenside play. Now White has to go onto the defensive, and, crucially, think for himself.} 12. cxb5 {There's nothing better than accepting the challenge.} (12. d5 $143 $2 {is too ambitious, as} Na5 13. cxb5 Nc4 $17 {(Jones) is a superb Benko Gambit for Black: the e2 knight has nothing to do, the e3 bishop is attacked and the c4 knight has reached its best square far ahead of schedule.}) 12... Nxb5 13. dxc5 dxc5 14. Bxc5 Nxc3 15. bxc3 $6 {(1:20) My only addition to Jones's analysis was to look a bit more deeply into this capture, as he considers it a sideline to 15. Nxc3. That is objectively correct, but I'm not surprised that most players have picked the capture which doesn't immediately return the pawn.} (15. Nxc3 $142 {From here the main line of his book goes} Qa5 16. b4 (16. Nd5 $5 {is also playable, as} Qxc5 17. Rc1 {threatens a knight fork on e7 if Black defends his knight. But} Qa5 18. Rxc6 e6 19. Ne7+ Kh8 $44 {offers Black easy play against the vulnerable queenside pawns.}) 16... Nxb4 17. Bxe7 Re8 {, after which the only way to save both hanging pieces is} 18. Bxb4 Rxb4 $44 {and only White can be in danger given Black's strong bishop pair.}) 15... Ba6 $6 {(1:29) I may have been sceptical enough to do my own analysis of the pawn capture, but I couldn't remember it at the board! There was just too much to cover in a narrow window. This move was to pin the white knight and stop it reaching d4, but this wasn't to be feared so Black may as well take the offered tempo against the loose bishop on c5.} (15... Qa5 $142 {Jones considered 16. Be3 Ne5, concluding that Black has the advantage because of his outpost on c4. Instead I was more concerned about the superficially more harmonious} 16. Bd4 $2 {, however this is too slow and allows Black to invade after} Nxd4 {(better than ...Rd8 as played by Jones himself in the only recorded game)} 17. cxd4 Ba6 18. Re1 Rb2 {,threatening to win a piece with 19... Rd2.} 19. Bf1 $8 Rc8 $17 {It is obvious that White is reduced to passivity.}) 16. Qc2 Qa5 17. Be3 {Now Black can get similar play to 15... Qa5 16. Be3 with 17... Ne5, but I was spooked by my faltering memory and chose a nervier course.} Bxe2 $6 $146 {This felt wrong, and is a classic example of sacrificing a pawn in order to win it back. Why give up the bishop pair and the initiative to win back a pawn that would have absorbed much of White's energy to defend? This should lead only to dull equality.} 18. Qxe2 Bxc3 19. Rac1 $6 {White is tempted by the floating pieces on the c-file, however the tactics are working for Black and this results in me taking the initiative once again. 19. Rad1 avoids any tricks; after that the position is balanced, since White's two bishops run up against the constraining influence of the e4 pawn.} Nd4 20. Qd3 $2 {(57) Black's reply proves this to be an empty threat, which leads to a disastrous loss of time. Like it or not, White needed to opt for safety first and exchange on d4, which would lead to similar play to how the game eventually turns out.} Rfd8 $1 $17 {(1:10) Now both of Black's pieces are untouchable, and White has to burn more time attending to the threat of 21... Nf3+.} 21. Kh1 (21. Rxc3 $2 {The point of Black's play is that this loses to} Qxc3 22. Qxc3 Ne2+ $19) (21. Bxd4 $2 {is now too late, and} Bxd4 {comes with tempo again because of the ...Bxf2+ discovery. Then} 22. Qc4 Rb2 $19 {invades the second rank with deadly effect. As happens later on at the other end of the board, the opposite bishops help only the attacker with other pieces on the board.}) 21... Bb2 $1 {This intermezzo is much more to the point that the pedestrian 21... Nb5?, giving White time to slip away. Now he can't evacuate the d-file in time and Black can force the exchange of his better bishop.} 22. Rc4 Nf5 23. Qe2 (23. Bd2 $143 $6 {loses a pawn to an x-ray attack and ultimately a desperado:} Qxd2 24. Qxd2 Nxg3+ 25. fxg3 Rxd2 $19) 23... Nxe3 24. Qxe3 {Here was where nerves began to get the better of me.} Bg7 $2 {This is overly cautious. There is nothing wrong with taking the a-pawn. I was worried about creating a pin along the second rank, but White is not in time to do anything with it and my own newly-passed would be an able defender.} (24... Qxa2 $142 $19 {This even lands with tempo thanks to the c4 rook! White has no threats and can hardly do more than watch the a-pawn run down the board.} 25. Qe2 a5 26. Rc2 a4) 25. e5 $1 {(28) The position is still difficult for White, but this is an excellent practical decision which I wrongly underestimated. It crops up in Jones's analysis as a clearance sacrifice to bring the g2 bishop into action, but after Sanitt had contorted himself to grab a hot pawn earlier on I complacently assumed he wouldn't go in for it. Besides, I thought that it was more important to nurse the a-pawn.} (25. Rc2 $143 $6 {was what I expected, but then} Rb2 26. Rxb2 Bxb2 $17 {would have restored the status quo ante - the a2 pawn is in trouble.}) 25... Qxa2 $2 {(42) With my bishop out of harm's way I was now in the mood to take this pawn, however it leads unavoidably to the loss of the e-pawn, and consequently to White developing threats against f7 since I can't block the a2-g8 diagonal.} (25... Qxe5 $6 {was the better pawn to take, although} 26. Qxa7 Bf6 27. a4 Rb2 $15 {offers White counterplay with his outside pawn - something I was never going to allow.}) (25... e6 $142 {was best of all though: this wasn't the only game in which I was blind to non-forcing moves. Here the e-pawn is secured and White still has to tend to his a-pawn. The machine prefers to give it up and activate White's second rook, which only leads to Black getting an ending where he can play for two results.} 26. Rfc1 Qxa2 27. Rc7 a5 28. Qa7 Qb2 29. Rf1 Rf8 30. Qxa5 Bxe5 $17 {It's up to White to defend this one-wing position a pawn down. Whatever happens, it's hard to see how Black could lose.}) 26. Rc7 a5 27. Rxe7 Re8 {Taking care to flush the invader off the seventh rank at the earliest opportunity.} 28. Rxe8+ Rxe8 29. f4 $11 {I was feeling happy in this position thanks to the passed pawn. But White has mobilised his newly-minted kingside majority, and combined with the opposite-coloured bishops this allows him to create more threats than I appreciated.} a4 (29... f6 $143 $4 {I was right to reject this as a fatal weakening of the a2-g8 diagonal, but not for the reason I thought - rather than 30. Rd1 Qa4 and Black defends, White wins with} 30. Qd4 fxe5 31. Qd7 $18 {, threatening 32. Bd5+ as well as the rook.}) (29... Rd8 $144 {I was keen to bring the rook into the game, however I also wanted to keep the white pawns in check and so prioritised my a-pawn for now. Both strategies are viable, though it should be noted that} 30. f5 {is nothing special after} gxf5 31. Rxf5 Qe6 $11) 30. Rf2 {(17)} Qa1+ {(27)} 31. Kh2 a3 {Still pushing the pawn... into the lion's maw! This can be justified with accurate play, however I was unduly relaxed about the safety of this daring foot soldier. 31... Rd8 remains a more active alternative.} 32. Bd5 Rb8 $2 {And this is a bad miss - by both sides! White overlooks a two-move refutation, but even as the game goes I now have a cheerless defence of a 3 vs 4 ending to look forward to. Black can still defend with 32... Bf8, reinforcing the a-pawn and preparing to cover the seventh rank with ...Re7.} 33. Qa7 $2 {A double attack on b8 and f7 is indeed the flaw in Black's play, but White can do a lot better with 33. Bxf7+! intending to play this move with check if Black takes the bishop.} Rf8 34. Ra2 {This is still nothing to cheer about from Black's point of view though.} Qc3 35. Rxa3 {(7) The computer would rather take with the queen and permit its exchange, but with opposite bishops and all the pawns on one side of the board White's desire to avoid simplification is understandable.} Qd2+ {(17)} 36. Bg2 Rc8 $2 {Playing directly for counterplay which doesn't exist - meanwhile, abandoning the defence of f7 is about to lead to calamity. Once again, Black does not need to force a crisis and can play to consolidate his position. For the reasons given in the last note, it is up to White to show progress.} (36... h5 $142 {This move serves the twin purposes of creating a flight square for my king and threatening to break up White's pawn chain by a further advance. If he prevents this with} 37. h4 {then} (37. Qb7 {to replicate the recipe in the game is met by} h4 $132 {and White's pawn cover is compromised}) 37... Rc8 {is now the right play, since} 38. Qb7 Rc2 {locks the white queen to defending g2, so} 39. Ra7 {can merely be ignored with} Kh7 $11 {Having played h3-h4 it is also much harder for White to create a passed pawn.}) 37. Qb7 Rc2 $4 {But now this no longer works. When I made this move I was happy that both checks on the 8th rank are answered by ...Bf8, but I didn't consider the quieter threat at all! 37... Rf8 would have been an unpleasant defence, but the game would have carried on. Once again, forcing thinking...} 38. Ra7 {Now Black can only escape mate by giving up the exchange and trading into a hopeless ending.} Qxg2+ 39. Qxg2 Rxg2+ 40. Kxg2 {(6)} h5 {(11)} 41. Kf3 Bf8 {There is one theoretical draw in this complex, namely rook and bishop's pawn against the bishop of the same colour as the queening square, but it soon became obvious that I was not even close to reaching it.} 42. Ke4 Bc5 43. Ra8+ Kg7 44. f5 gxf5+ 45. Kxf5 {(36)} Bf2 {(42)} 46. Ra3 Be1 47. Kg5 {I ended this tournament with a ~2100 TPR and gained 17 Elo, but this one game still makes it feel like a failure. I needed a long time to get over this defea, and it casts a shadow over many of the games played since in which I showed none of the assured conviction that was present up to now. Just like on the Welsh seaside seven years earlier, my nerves failed me at the decisive moments. Incidentally, the most recent games I've played at the time of writing were in two single-section rapidplays. In both of them I went into the last round on 4/5 playing for the prizes, got an excellent position from the opening and then threw it away... apparently history repeats.} 1-0

This was an instructive practical tournament game, both strategically and psychologically, but of course not the easiest to revisit. When I caught up on annotating my games over the last few weeks, I skipped this one and came back only at the very end. My season TPR before this game had been 2188; for the ten games played afterwards it was 2011. That is the difference of a dent in confidence!

There are a few moves that betray my terrible nerves in this game. Giving up a huge initiative to modestly win back my sacrificed pawn with 17... Bxe2?! was a decision beneath my understanding, and a taste of what was to come. Most obvious is the decision not to take the a-pawn on move 24, not for any particular reason but just vague unease. Had I done so, coronating my extra pawn would probably have been quite straightforward, but disorganising my position even for just a moment was too uncomfortable for me. I played the cosmetic 24... Bg7? after only four minutes - for a big decision in a big game, I needed to slow down and dispel any ghosts, particularly when there was such an upside. I belatedly took the a-pawn a move later, but by then the moment had passed. I overestimated the importance of both outside pawns, as they didn't exist in a vacuum. White's kingside majority, and particularly the weakness of the a2-g8 diagonal, are important counterbalancing factors. Generally I play opposite-bishop positions relatively well, but all subtlety abandoned me and I only ever considered forcing play. 25... e6 didn't occur to me at all. The decisive twin mistakes, 36... Rc8? and 37... Rc2??, also arose from not contemplating passive defence. 38. Ra7 shouldn't have been a hard move to see...

It is easy to lose sight of The Doctor's wisdom, as it feels like the one bad thing did spoil the many good things. If you mixed up the order of the games, a gain of rating points and some nice wins would have been a success. So that is how I still ought to view this tournament, in spite of what might have been. I still don't have much experience of final-round showdowns, and it's telling that my comparison was a tournament played eight years ago. Any experience must be good experience, as long as I don't let it predetermine the outcome in future. If you expect the worst, you will usually get it.

Unfortunately, there have been no highlights and many lowlights in my 2025 outings to date, so it's slim pickings for more games to blog. But I do have an interesting struggle and then one game I'm pleased with, after which I might touch on a few rapidplay games.